Loudness

One of my biggest goals in life is not to be yelled at. I kid you not. Perhaps I should aspire to bigger and different goals, but this one is pretty important to me. I HATE loud noise. Especially when it's coming out of someone's mouth and directed in my general direction.

There's never a need to raise one's voice and talk over me - it's like squashing a bug with your shoe. I am a quiet talker. My voice refuses to project. I can yell at the top of my lungs and you likely won't hear me even if you're only like 50 feet away. If I have to sing nonstop for 15 minutes or conduct a conversation in a noisy bar, I will be guaranteed to lose my voice that night. Apparently, I got me some weak lungs and vocal chords.

Ironically, I come from a family of loud talkers and yellers. I have plenty of great friends who can project their voices with the best of them. So if and when I ever need it, I have tons of great people like Miss FlipFlops who can literally speak up for me. And plenty of great friends who have never yelled at me or made me cry.

Now that I'm older, I realized I don't have to take it. I'm not that child my mom can yell at anymore. In fact, as traumatizing as the whole situation was, 2 years ago (the last time my mom ever yelled at me) I decided to walk right out the door and leave the house when my mom wouldn't stop yelling. It took a long time to heal for the both of us but it was an adult milestone that probably frightened her and liberated me.

Walking away is probably the most frustrating thing you can do to a yeller. With work, I can't always do that. Nor can I humor my urge to just punch them in the nose. So I respond in the best way I can - with silence until they're done with their rant. I won't even tolerate someone raising their voice to me. I immediately shut down to silent but deadly mode because I know there's no point in raising my voice back at them. I'll lose. And losing I hate almost as much as I hate loud noise.