Hello and Goodbye

Yesterday, I said good bye to The Boy (formerly thought of as the One) in my own way. Tacitly and without any fanfare, without even using the words Good bye. Nearly four years ago, he came into my life and turned it upside down.UBBF calls him a giant pigeon. Someone who flew in, made a giant mess, and then swooped away. If four years could be calling a swooping.

I know I'll still see him once or twice at going away parties and lunches before he actually drives off to the other side of the country with his One. But yesterday was the last moment we'd spend together, just ourselves, taking an afternoon stroll for some coffee and Pinkberry, chatting about everything except what was better left unsaid. How we may never talk to each other or see each other again once he leaves, why I won't stay in touch, won't ask how he's doing, if he's happy with the life he chose, if he's scared or nervous. Most of all, we didn't talk about how much he had meant to me, how he broke me and I had to put myself back together again even though the reassembled pieces have turned out a bit askew.

Later that afternoon, he asked me for my mailing address and I asked if he was going to send me maple syrup or a fuzzy woodland critter from his hometown as my new pet. He replied "yes, I'm sending you a real live groundhog." I gave it to him anyway for lack of credible excuse, wondering if I'll be receiving a wedding invitation soon, or better yet a wedding announcement after the fact. Then I thought to myself, even if I've been dying to visit his hometown, even if it were one of my top places to visit before I actually died, I cannot imagine a worse idea for a trip to take this summer. Luckily, all I'll have to do is check the "regretfully unable to attend" box, wish him good luck, and bid him goodbye. Be careful what you wish for, because you might actually get it. He's sadly, happily, unfortunately, and finally out of my life.