Sunday, March 16, 2008

Tool

My boss is a tool. That's the best term I can come up with to describe him. Urban Dictionary has several definitions of tool but I think in order of accuracy, I would have to go with #4, #7, and then #2. On a side note, I also like the term "asstard" as used in #2.

The man is out "sick" one day every other week. At least once a week, he'll come over and ask about something I took care of ages ago and already emailed him about.
"Oh I don't read all my emails," he boldly declares.

"Let's have a QUICK meeting," he always suggests. And more than an hour later, after he continues to talk about the same thing long past my attention span has ceased to function because of the HUNGER PANGS that are attacking me, we are still trapped in the room.

I always start looking for an escape clause.. perhaps another meeting, or a supervisor that needs me to help out on a project, or a very important phone call I have to return. Akin to trying to gnaw off my own leg to escape the bear trap. I even employ other artist friends to peep in the window occasionally to gesture at me, as if something huge needed my attention outside of that now claustrophobic room, especially when it's lunch time.

"Don't ever leave me!" I tell them. "Make up an excuse, come drag me out of there so I can at least go have lunch."

And don't even get me started on how much he piles on extra work on everyone because he thinks everything takes half the time. Then comes in and gives motivational speeches to his burnt out team as we stare at him glassy-eyed and disbelieving.

"Is this guy for real?" we think. And unfortunately, yes he is.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

A Concert For Angry Youths and Formerly Bitter Whatchamacalits


I've been on an indie music/tiny venue kick for a long while now. So when it was time to go to Linkin Park tonight, I was equally excited and wary. The last time I saw a big act at a big venue, it was The Police at Dodgers stadium last summer. To sum up that experience, it was great music, insane crowds, 2 hour wait to drive in, and me running the rest of the way from the hill to the venue to use the bathroom. Fun times.

With Linkin Park, though I did end up running to the bathroom multiple times from the gallon of water I drank, getting in and out of the venue was great, and the music equally loud and wonderful. It brought me back to the days of screaming/singing along in the car when I was angry or hurting, trying to channel the angst in Chester Bennington and Mike Shinoda's voices.

I ended up dragging my brother along, still fresh from work in his business casual get up and thoroughly out of place at the concert. Our seats were as close to the floor as possible without actually having to stand with the masses (whew! getting old. I like to sit at my concerts!) I sang along, though did not jump up and down with my fists pumped like the guy next to me. Of course some old geezers near us smoked pot and strangely enough I saw people with young children (like 3 year olds!) wandering around the floor. Talk about a diverse crowd of fans.

The six members of the band obviously have a good thing going and create solid music, though it did leave me wondering how decisions are made within the group. A true democracy? Or are some members more important than others? My brother ranked them in order of importance just for fun but I don't think that would ever work for a band to be successful. Anyway, my dreams to be a drummer for a rock band when I grow up continue to live on!

Sunday, March 02, 2008

My Vacuum Cleaner Ate My Sofa

Apparently, vacuum cleaners don't belong on sofas. And apparently, sofas are one of the most highly flammable things in your living room. Sigh... If I had only known. Chalk it up to one more thing that people don't tell you about in day to day conversations and one more thing that should be common sense.


Luckily, no one was hurt, nothing burst into flames and only poor Oscar the Couch suffered some cosmetic damages when I dragged the vacuum up on the seat. I was using the attachments to vacuum up as much cat hair as possible along the top of the couch and windowsill. (So that my poor allergic college roomie visiting from out of town wouldn't asphyxiate) Unfortunately the hose wasn't long enough so I had to pull the entire vacuum up. I didn't think the bottom part still had suction since I was using the attachment, but boy was I wrong!