Just A Girl

Oh demented fairy godmother, I just realized your hand in all of this. I remembered that not so long ago, I used to wish that I were less of the tomboyish sort, less the rational buddy and longed for a boy tough enough to make me feel more like a girl. And, well, of course I got it.

Now, I break into tears if say rose petals start falling to the ground or something equally ridiculous... and I am completely irrational when it comes to the bf. And that bf? Not one bit of metrosexual in him. He's totally a guy's guy. Rough around the edges. Blunt as all hell with no self-censoring mechanism in his head. Tries so hard to pay for everything and take care of me even if he doesn't quite know how. And does all those stupid insensitive things like forgetting to call back, not waiting for me to eat together or watch a film, or forgetting to follow up on plans he suggested.

At the end of the day, it's not all bad. For better or worse, the bf makes me feel like such a girly girl whether he tells me I'm beautiful or when he's making me cry because he did something completely inconsiderate. Many of my guy friends have drifted apart from me now that they have their own wives and girlfriends and that feeling of being "just one of the guys" doesn't happen quite as often anymore. At work, I'm almost positive that everyone sees me as an actual girl and not the tomboy buddy I once was.

As I read through some old entries and texts from the beginning of the relationship, I complained to Wavy about how the bf obviously doesn't try as hard anymore or drop everything including time from work just to see me. "Can you believe you used to call him Captain Attentive?" I asked.

"That, my dear, is a universal problem," replied Wavy. And just like that, I'm now just another girl complaining about a boy and wondering "when did I become like this?"