Reflections In My Flannel Pajamas

It feels so decadent to pad around in flannel PJ's for several waking hours at a time. Here at my dear friend, "Turtle's" place, where she and her husband bend over backwards to make sure I'm not too cold, not too hot, not too hungry, nor ever in want of anything, the only time they leave me alone is late at night when they fall asleep. They say that you should always have a place you can escape to, and this is my place to recoup.

We joked about the title of "best friend" the other day - what it means, what it signifies, and the curse of bestowing that title on a person. I distinctly remember one afternoon about 2 decades ago, sitting in the car with my mother, driving home from a piano lesson, and asking her "when will I have a best friend?" She told me that not everyone has a "best friend." You might have several good friends and that should suffice.

I've been fortunate enough to have several great friends. And also blessed to have a best friend from junior high, one from high school, another from college and even one for after college. Each one critically important to me at that time in my life and then some. The first three are all up here in the bay area, and strangely enough, married to men who all share the same first name. The fourth one is migrating back up here next year, and perhaps that's why I'm so drawn to San Francisco and have fantasies of uprooting myself to live here for awhile.

Sadly, some of these friendships have naturally drifted apart as we grew in different directions and time and distance set in. Turtle is from high school, and somehow, in 17 years of friendship, we've only had one fight. Not even so much a fight, as in a period of just not hanging out together. Then, it passed.

She asked me why girls place such an emphasis on the title of best friend. It seems to have caused more petty squabbles and heartache amongst childhood friends than you'd think. Is it possession, a responsibility, or knowing that next to a spouse, you are the most important person and dearest to their heart?

I find it oddly parallel to searching for "the one." You may never find it. It may not even exist for certain people. Or for some, there are several "ones" out there or "one" for a certain time period in your life. All I know is that if I'm as blessed in finding "the one(s)" as I had in finding great friends, the future will indeed be bright.