Maybe it's because it's been months since I've bawled, maybe it's because I'm tired and fed up, maybe it's because I've had no time to take care of mundane life stuff... but watching Grey's Anatomy and listening to the angsty music they use to really punctuate those emotional moments was just the release I needed to cry my eyes out over everything.
The chronic fatigue of work, the insensitivity of my brother before he left for Chicago, the disarray of a number of friendships, the antipeptalk from my old boss, the stunning layoff of a fellow coworker today, the piling on of her unfinished work onto my already full plate, the continual burn-out (to the point of illness) of my team of artists, the constant drowning feeling of never getting any projects done at home, the confusion and overwhelmingness of self-improvement, and finally the disappointment and self-loathing of the person I'm growing up to become. I am my harshest critic.
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2 comments:
Wow, I think I would blubber, too, if I had to deal with the amount of crap you've described here.
You seem like a good person, and there's no reason for self-loathing, as far as I can tell.
honestly, you are being WAY too hard on yourself. yes, we all have areas that need self-improvement, but other than your low self-esteem, nothing is dire! i know i don't always take my own advice, but take it slow! you are perfect, okay?
also, you are shaping up to be a beautiful person. no need for disappointment. you are so kind & benevolent & beautiful (inside & out!). you can be disappointed in life, but not yourself! i love you!
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