The Art of Not Telling the Truth

Lying. It kills friendships, destroys trust, and breaks hearts. It's one thing to tell a little white lie "no you don't look fat today!", but another thing to flat out lie when asked a serious direct question. I understand avoidance and not divulging everything when not prompted. I understand poker. I understand protecting a loved one. But I don't understand looking someone in the eye and giving a false answer when asked. Maybe because I'm just not wired that way. My brain might short-circuit or severe twitching could occur.

I have a friend who constantly and not so subtlety changes the subject when he doesn't feel like answering a question. At first, I thought it was a cultural or language thing, perhaps a Swedish thing? Some days it's annoying, some days charming in a kooky kinda way. I finally realized he does that because he's a bad liar like me. Changing the subject and just avoiding the question altogether is his only defense. Of course he needs to work on those conversation segues a bit more so that he's not glaringly drawing more attention to the truth. Or nontruth.

I ended a friendship once, abruptly and without remorse, because lies were told and my sympathy manipulated. That was over ten years ago and I'm not sure I've forgiven. Or more accurately, I don't know if I care enough to even ponder forgiveness, it's that inconsequential now. All I knew is that I no longer wanted this person in my life, effective immediately.

My brother lied to me about his breakup. And tried to manipulate my feelings. Obviously I can't cut him out of my life, I adore him. And I almost understand what's he trying to do. But I'm quietly disappointed that he flat out lied to me when I asked him a direct question. It almost would have been better if he just pretended not to hear me or changed the subject to something temporarily distracting and entirely ridiculous, like baby penguins.