Introversion Part Two

What happens when you mix an extreme introvert and an extreme extrovert together and they become close friends? You get one frustrated extrovert and one chronically fatigued introvert.

It took me a full day to recover from my friend's bridal shower/bachelorette party/bootcamp weekend. Sunday night through Monday I was completely shellshocked, lying prone on my sofa, staring at the ceiling for a bit, and trying to regain whatever lifeforce had been sucked away from the nonstop weekend of having to be "on" and around people 24/7.

Until I reread the article on Introverts, even I was baffled why I was so exhausted the whole weekend. We didn't do anything too strenuous - piddling around the pool at the spa, lounging in the sun, driving all over town... Yet, both nights I could barely keep my eyes open and defog my brain enough to make coherent conversations and participate in the requisite late night girly talks. I konked out big time at my spa massage, on the hotel bed, on my friend's sofa, and to top it off had nightmares.

It wasn't so much that it was a miserable experience - all the girls were perfectly nice and entertaining, I had been to that particular spa in Napa before, we had great food all weekend, and there was lovely weather. However, there were no less than 4 people around at all times, a dozen most of the time and all were 1) married, 2) engaged and comparing their gigantic rocks, or 3) in serious relationships likely to be engaged any second. Then there was me and one other misfit looking like "what the hell am I doing here? I have nothing to contribute to these conversations about wedding planning and the number and names of my nonexistent future children. Can I be excused?"

However, there was an itinerary for the weekend, activities day and night, and no time to go off on my own and decompress for a few hours. No doubt I wanted to be there for my friend, but knowing that I was required to be there triggered the I'm-trapped mentality. Above all, I felt sad knowing that I was growing apart or at least differently from my friend's next phase of life. I'm learning that my needs to be selfish and alone from time to time are just as important as her needs to be selfish and have everyone she loves around her for 3 days straight. Yes, this was a one time deal, but it's another life lesson for the next thing that comes around. I'm slowly learning how to say no.