On the Lack of Hate

On the show, Big Brother, a reality show which I've actually never watched, people are cooped up in a house until they're voted out one by one (or maybe until they can't stand it anymore and run screaming out the door?) Winner is the last person standing in the house. Apparently on this latest season, the twist is that each person is stuck in there with their respective enemies.

As SC Homey explained this premise to Polar Opposite and me last week, we wondered aloud who our own enemies were, and whether we each had such a nemesis we'd hate to be stuck with in a house for months. In the end, we all realized that none of us were diligent enough to have any active hating going on - but there were sure tons of people who would annoy the hell out of us if trapped in a house for months.

There are a couple of people I no longer want to see because of a sense of betrayal or lying but I can barely remember the last time I really hated a person. There was a boy I hated for years purely because he called me ugly in junior high and it was mean and hurtful. I'm sure he's a perfectly decent person now (well, maybe... I heard he was still a bit of a dick in college.) There were three bosses from the mouse-eared company who made my life absolutely miserable, people who lacked a soul and people I never understood - why they worked in the lovely industry of animation is still beyond me. A few of us still have a good cackle when we hear bad things about them. Shameful, yes, but oh so satisfying.

There were fleeting moments of hate with all the past hurtful boys, but it was always too much energy to maintain hate. Indifference is so much more energy conscious.

As for annoying, my silly fluff of a boss, with his constant puns, rude interruptions, and habit of talking over people loudly to take over a conversation would be up there on the list. But I realize if we were on equal footing, I'd just ignore him and all would be fine. Same with the tactless and crass owner's wife. She scares me but I'd much prefer to ignore and avoid her more than anything else. I wonder if hate fades away as we grow older and hopefully wiser. Or is it tiredness and wariness that tells us to save such a passionate emotion for something better?