Work is stupid

It's a little dicey, talking about work, complaining about work, thinking about other work... The work people, as far as I know, DO NOT know about this blog. And though Dooce warns about it, I don't care, I'm gonna complain away...

This working thing, I'm so over it. Just a means to afford things like traveling, concerts, movies, shopping... I'm luckier than most - I like the industry I'm in and I like more than 50% of the people I work with. I have flexible hours, we play video games and pingpong, and we have a treasure trove of food and drink.

But for me, the sparkle is gone. I've done the big bureaucratic company thing with its ridiculous protocols, bloated managers, and cookie cutter storytelling. And now I've done the small scrappy company thing with its struggling name recognition, structure resistance, production hating, money needing, and stupid client acquiesing.

I'm tired of the understaffed projects, the burnt out artists who end up leaving, the empty promises, the stupid egos, the smelly funk in the one room we all share, the misplaced blame, the crazy hours, my cheesy, credit-hogging, control freaky, "sick"-on-Mondays, oblivious boss, and above all, all the guys there who have caused me grief because it's my job to take it and still act professionally.

I mask all my stress and frustration so well, I even fool myself as to when I'm upset. Which means the stress manifests itself in odd ways. Since I've been at this company, I've had countless dreams (and nightmares) about work, broken out in hives in the middle of the night, gotten more sick than I ever have in my life with the flu, pink eye, strep throat, and severe allergies, seen all my doctors more frequently than I ever have before, had my neck and back lock up for days, and spontaneously broken out in tears in the car and at home.

Today, my boss "offered" to have me "help" him as associate producer on a new project. Mind you, I'm already his AP on two other projects, which basically means I'm doing all the legwork while he claims executive producer credit on the projects. He's also sole producer on 2 other high profile projects (one of which is working his team way too much) and would have taken sole producer credit on this latest project if I hadn't asked to work on it and the supervisor hadn't requested me.

I just wrapped up another project on my own, but to "keep consistent" with his credits and because he started up the project (basically he was the first one to make contact with the client) he's going to take executive producer on this one too. Is he such an egomaniac and so insecure that he has to have his name on everything?

Now I'm not one who usually cares about credits - part of the appeal of first working for this company was how LITTLE they did care about credits. Everyone's business cards, from the creative director, to the fresh out of school artist, look the same with NO titles. Whereas at a certain mouse-eared company I used to work for, people fought tooth and nail for the most credits and the best titles they could get. And only the executives had the privilege of business cards. I guess as this little company grows, it's only natural that hierarchy and titles begin to matter. And when people get greedy, petty and try to rob you of your due, it's only natural that you want to fight back or at least question the stupidity of it all.

Tonight, I got an email from the creative director, asking "what the F*@% is this?" as the first line of the email. Someone needs to take email etiquette lessons. Without giving me or my boss the benefit of the doubt, he flips out that a potential client is not satisfied with our bid for a new project. Even though we walked the client through our costs on the phone, in the email, and as exactly as the creative director suggested. What is this need to blame on the people you CAN bully?

My friend, the Ultimate Beastie Boys fan (UBBF), reminded me today that as a production assistant at my old mouse-eared company, the tyrannical editor once blamed me for his absence at a meeting with the directors - after I emailed him about it, put up post-it notes on his computer, wrote it on his personal whiteboard in his office... he was just too lame to turn his head and look at his board or see all the paper and digital notes. Short of shooting a flaming arrow with a note attached into his office, he was not going to pay attention to the reminders or the schedule. Amazingly, I had blocked this whole memory out years ago!

Anyway, the tirade has gone on long enough for tonight. It's hump day, middle of the week, two more days till another weekend. No four-day weekend for me. Gotta work Monday. Though on a final note, my boss will be out for FIVE whole days. That's 3 consecutive weeks of working less than 5 days a week for him. Hmmmm, wonder why he needed to make me his chump associate producer on yet another project. Sigh.....